The Highschool Camping Trip from Hell
by CielFangirl325
Summary: While going through Maes desk, Roy comes across old, humorous memories. Royai, MaesXGracia, JeanXRebecca
1. Prologue

Roy sighed heavily, sitting in the chair at his late best friend's desk. He had been the one charged with cleaning out the desk and sorting through the belongings of Brigadier General Maes Hughes. He had no idea why he had been given this job. Everyone at Eastern Command knew how close he was to the deceased soldier and could at least guess how hard this was for him.

Most of the things had been packed into boxes. All the framed family pictures, other items like spare glasses and a camera, war medals, and the photos found in the pocket of Maes' uniform had been boxed up to give to Gracia, and his knives had been repurposed to another soldier. The Flame Alchemist looked to the box holding his friend and comrade's personal items thoughtfully. He decided he'd wrap the box and put a bow or something on it before he gave it to it's unfortunate recipient. It was the least he could do for a friend, and it'd be nice to just try to make the widow and her daughter smile.

Roy sighed and looked down at the desk. "Only one more." By that, he meant that he had ripped out and pillaged through every drawer in the desk except for the aforementioned remaining one. As he opened the final drawer something in his mind told him to be more careful and observant with the contents of this last drawer, even though he had already treated everything else as if it was made of a compound of eggshells and butterfly wings. The Mustang made the odd decision to listen to that little brain-voice. It was odd because he usually didn't. Maes (if he was alive) or Jean could confirm that with one of the many tales they had about Roy's (often drunken) escapades.

Roy slowly picked at the things in the drawer. Dog biscuits Roy presumed he had for Black Hayate, candy for when Elysia visited the office, house keys, car keys, takeout menus, a few goofy sketches, a few actually decent sketches, and... A reel of film.

Curious, the Colonel turned Janitor picked up the film reel carefully, wiping off the dust and crumbs of dog biscuit. He read the label on the item aloud, instantly able to read what most people considered Maes' unreadable chicken scratch he called handwriting. "The Highschool Camping Trip from Hell." Roy instantly knew what the tape was and paled, not knowing whether to laugh hysterically or scream in terror, so he did both.

Riza was peacefully having coffee with a few colleagues when she heard a noise that sounded akin to an ostrich being strangled. She gave Jean one look and both slammed down their coffee mugs and ran towards the noise, slamming through the doors and into Brigadier General Maes Hughes' office, both immediately spotting the 'strangled ostrich'. "Colonel!" Riza exclaimed, going to Roy's side with Jean on her heels. "What's wrong?! Are you in need of medical assistance?!" Roy shook his head and pointed with a shaking finger, his face white as a sheet. Both the First and Second Lieutenant looked.

"HE KEPT THAT?!" Jean wailed, shocked.

Even Riza looked slightly surprised. "I forgot he even filmed it."

As he got over the shock of what he had just witnessed, Jean Havoc's face was plastered with an almost evil grin. "Let's watch it!"

"NO!" Horse and Hawk exclaimed at the same time. "Do you want to torture yourself with the memories?!"

Jean just shrugged. "I know it was awful at the time, but who knows? Maybe now we can look back on better times and laugh. We certainly need it at a time like this." Roy and Riza silently nodded in agreement. Jean smiled. "It's settled then! I'll pick up the other girls and we'll watch this thing at my place."

That night, Roy, Riza, Jean, Rebecca, and Gracia (who had gotten a babysitter for Elysia) all settled in Jean's filthy apartment to relive the glory days. Roy had dug up a projector from God knows where, and had made some burnt popcorn via alchemy. He sighed. "Lights...camera...action!"


	2. Warning

"Get that video camera out of my face, idiot!" Seventeen year old Roy grumbled, shoving his best friend out of his face.

Maes laughed. "C'mon Roy! This is going to be an adventure, and you're acting like Riza!"

Riza looked up from her book. "How is he acting like me?" She questioned, raising an eyebrow.

The bespectacled teen honestly looked a little scared. "Well he's being like you...Standoffish, snarky, no fun..." Riza and Roy gave him identical death glares.

Jean grabbed the camera out of his friend's hands. "WHOO! FUCK YEAH! I'M GONNA GET DRUUUUNK AND SEE GIRLS IN BIKINIS!" The boys smirked and exchanged fist bumps. Gracia blushed, Rebecca rolled her eyes, and Riza slapped them.

After hours of being cramped in a bus full of teenagers that smelled of body odor, perfume, rotting food, and gym socks, they finally arrived in what Riza had dubbed 'The Middle of Hell'.

The teacher split everyone up into teams of six. Roy and Riza had been teamed up with Maes, Jean, Rebecca, and Gracia. Riza sighed as she helped with the girl's tent. "This was a bad idea."

"What was a bad idea?" Gracia asked, smiling. "We girls have set up our tent just fine."

Rebecca nodded, laughing. "As you said Grace, we girls! The guys, well..."

There were shouts from a few feet away. The girls looked up and watched, all sighing and rolling there eyes. "JUMP ON THE PEG! JUMP ON THE PEG! GAH! FUCK! I TOLD YOU TO JUMP ON IT, MAES!"

Riza sighed. "Roy, you do know that the poles are supposed to go on the inside of the tent, right? If you read the instruction manual you would've known that."

"I did read it!" Roy exclaimed, arguing.

"Skimming and maybe looking at a picture or two doesn't count." Riza told him, rolling her eyes. Roy couldn't argue, and Gracia and Rebecca laughed. Riza smirked slightly, observing the scene before them. The three boys kicking and jumping on small pegs in an attempt to secure their inside out tent into the ground. This was going to be a long night.

As the first night went down Jean managed to get fish hooks caught in his thumb and lips, Riza got kindling in her bra while carrying it, Rebecca and Gracia got lost on their way to the bathroom, and Roy decided to start a fire with what little he knew about flame alchemy and ended up setting his shoelaces on fire.

At two in the morning, a blood chilling scream and quick footsteps could be heard rushing into their campsite. Everyone woke up, jolting outside of their tents. Jean grabbed his lighter and flicked it on so they could see who was making such a racket. "Geez Maes! What the hell was that ruckus about?!"

Maes whimpered. "I went to the bathroom to take a pee,"

Rebecca grimaced. "Too much information, Hughes."

The terrified senior just continued. "A-and I saw...this!" He held up a sign in his shaking hands.

Roy grabbed it and read aloud. "**WARNING**:  
Serial rapist and killer 'Darkwalker' spotted in this area. Everyone, especially minors or women must be in their campsites by dark. Appearance matches picture above. If you have any information or a sighting notify a ranger immediately and/or call the number listed below." Gracia screamed and Maes cried like a baby, holding his girlfriend close and kissing her.

"What are we gonna do?!" Jean exclaimed. "The teachers are in their hotels and the next group's campsite is a two mile walk from here! We can't do that in the dark on our own! It's way too dangerous!"

Roy immediately sprung into action. "At least two of us need to stay awake during the night on shifts for lookout. You girls need to sleep with us!"

"No way, perverts!" Riza and Rebecca yelled. Gracia was too scared to argue, but didn't look thrilled with the prospect, blushing. That night, Roy and Jean were on lookout and Maes, Gracia, and Rebecca all squished into one tent on one air mattress. As soon as they were asleep, Riza went and slept on her own with a gun under her pillow.


	3. The Beach

Roy woke up the next morning, surprisingly before everyone. He checked to see if anyone else was awake and to no surprise, Riza's sleeping bag was empty. Oh well, being the second one awake was an accomplishment for him. Usually on school trips the teachers had to bang pots and pans by his ears at two in the afternoon.

He chuckled, and then spotted the sign Maes had found the previous night. "WE'RE ALIVE!" He exclaimed, kissing the ground.

Rebecca threw a pillow at his head, groaning and screeching like a zombie. "GO BACK TO SLEEP, FUCKFACE! IT'S TOO DAMN EARLY!" Roy screamed like a little girl and grabbed his slippers, shoving them onto his feet and booking it out of the tent.

He blinked in the beginnings of sunlight, and heard another noise that sounded like it wasn't far away. The teen listened closer and grinned at the familiar shouting, that probably sounded to most like a battle cry. He got an idea. He figured that Maes' video camera was still on and filming somewhere, as his best guy friend had told him he would be filming the entire trip, twenty four seven until they left the hellhole that was the wilderness. Roy decided to start orally documenting events. "Hey." He whispered into the wind. "Roy here. This is weird. I feel like I'm talking to myself, well I am, but it's going to be on video so..." He shrugged. "Hear that? Listen!" He grinned, going silent so the camera could pick up the battle cry.

"_Buddy_ _you're a boy make a big noise  
Playin' in the street gonna be a big man some day  
You got mud on yo' face  
You big disgrace  
Kickin' your can all over the place  
Singin'_

_We will we will rock you  
We will we will rock you_

_Buddy you're a young man hard man  
Shoutin' in the street gonna take on the world some day  
You got blood on yo' face  
You big disgrace  
Wavin' your banner all over the place_

_We will we will rock you  
We will we will rock you_

_Buddy you're an old man poor man  
Pleadin' with your eyes gonna make you some peace some day  
You got mud on your face  
You big disgrace  
Somebody better put you back into your place_

_We will we will rock you  
We will we will rock you_

_We will we will rock you  
We will we will rock you_"

Roy found the camera in a pile of boxer shorts and grabbed it. He walked the few yards with it to a picnic table where Riza was standing in her pajamas, chanting at the top of her lungs. Roy smiled. "Yep. Quiet, stoic Riza. She's really quite the firecracker, no pun intended." He chuckled. "I wake up to that every morning, at home too."

As Riza stopped singing, Roy took off back into the tent and turned the camera off. When he got back, everyone seemed to be awake, but the girls were gone. Mustang panicked. "Where are the girls?! When I left Rebecca and Gracia were sleeping, and I just saw Riza outside!"

Maes chuckled. "Don't worry. They're at the bathrooms getting dressed. I gave Becky a pocket knife, so I'm pretty sure they'll be okay. We wouldn't let them into a situation we thought would be dangerous." Roy breathed a sigh of relief, and the girls soon returned.

Gracia managed to make pancakes that were either undercooked or charred (not because of her cooking skills, which were excellent, but because of lack of tools to cook in the woods), and some coffee that was actually alright. Rebecca got an idea as they were eating. "I know what we should do today!"

"What?" Jean asked between bites of pancake.

Rebecca laughed, giving a million dollar smile with a roll of her eyes. "About ten or fifteen miles from here is a beach where we can all go swimming, but we have to walk." Roy and Jean did not look excited at the prospect of long distance walking, but the idea of seeing the three hottest freshman girls in bathing suits won them over.

An hour or so later, the boys were dressed, and the six had packed snacks, a first aid kit, a radio, and the boys managed to sneak in many, many beers. Once everything was ready to go, the teens set out on the long hike.

The first hour of the hike went fine, with the friends singing many sailors songs and cracking dirty jokes (some more willingly than others). As they trudged through a rather tricky few miles of terrain, Gracia fell behind. "Wait up!"

Maes whirled around, smiling like Prince Charming. "Run into my arms and I'll catch you, baby!" The others exchanged joking kissy faces, groans, and eye rolls. Gracia giggled, blushing, and ran. As the petite girl was running, she tripped over an ant hill. She shrieked in pain. The other five ran over to her. "Gracie-girl!" Maes exclaimed.

"Move out of the way." Riza ordered, kneeling down by her friend's girlfriend and examining her leg. "Ankle's twisted." Maes just about fainted, while Riza just set to work bandaging Gracia's ankle. Maes wanted to carry Gracia, even though the sweet girl insisted that she was too heavy and she'd put his back out. Maes carried her anyway.

Two hours later, they finally arrived at the beach. When they got there, the boys changed into their swim trunks and the girls changed as well into their suits. Gracia changed into a cute pink and white frilly bikini. Maes of course, nearly had a nosebleed and whipped out the camera, snapping picture after picture of his girlfriend like she was a model. "Isn't she just the cutest thing?!" They went into the water and swam, Gracia holding tight to Maes as it was hard to swim with a twisted ankle. Jean was hitting on Rebecca, who flirted just as much back as she danced to the radio in her revealing red and black bikini.

Roy watched Riza as he and Maes raced around and tried to squirt each other with water guns. Said girl was just reading a book, ignoring all the craziness around her. The current subject on Roy's mind, besides how to squirt Maes without squirting his passenger (Gracia) was how the hell his childhood friend managed to make a simple blue one piece swimsuit, straw hat, and red heart shaped glasses borrowed from Rebecca look so sexy. After putting his gunfight with Maes on time out like a little kid, Roy walked up the beach to the towel where Riza was lounging as she read. He smiled and held out his hand like he'd seen guys do in all those cheesy chick flicks that Riza hated. "C'mon, have fun with us! The water is great!"

"Says the apprentice of a flame alchemist." Riza remarked icily. Roy just rolled his eyes, grabbing Riza's book from her hands and throwing it a few yards away. Before his friend complained, Roy picked Riza up bridal style and started walking back down to the waves. Riza started to struggle.

"Calm down, dork!" Roy laughed. "It'll be great!"

"Roy! No! I-I can't do this" Riza exclaimed argumentatively. She sighed. "Um, Roy, I have a confession to make!"

"What is it? That you're a stick in the mud?" Roy joked, snorting. He held Riza above the water. "Three...two..."

"I CAN'T SWIM!" Riza screeched at the top of her lungs.

Roy stared at her, but no one else seemed surprised in the least. "Was I really the last one to know this?"

"Yup!" Jean laughed, sipping a beer.

Roy just smiled and positioned Riza like he was going to take her for a piggyback ride. "Hold onto my shoulders and don't let go. You don't have to worry. I'll be right here. Close your eyes while we're going under, and open them once we're in the water."

"Okay." Riza said, sounding slightly nervous. This was the first time Roy had ever heard her sound even remotely scared of anything. Slowly, Roy dove into the water, Riza clinging even tighter to his shoulders and slightly around his neck. As Riza seemed more comfortable Roy slowly let her go, staying close by her side as the normally fearless girl started a shaky dolphin kick. Riza popped up second later, gasping slightly but grinning and laughing. "I did it!"

That night, after dinner and, except on Riza and Gracia's part, a few beers apiece, Jean got an almost manic looking grin. "We have to make the trek back to our tent soon, but before that we need to cap this night off with something awesome! Before you ask, I know just the thing."

"And what would that be?" Riza asked warily, raising an eyebrow. She's only known Jean since she entered highschool just a mere few months ago, but those mere few months were enough to find out that the strawberry blonde was an attention whore and a complete adrenaline junky.

"Follow me." Against their better judgement, everyone did. Jean led them up a few cliffs (Gracia had to be carried because of her ankle), until they got to the highest point of the beach. He looked at his friends, and then back down the cliff. "We jump. Together."

"You've got to be joking!" Roy exclaimed. Even he wasn't that reckless.

"Do you have a death wish?!" Riza asked, not sounding like she was being sarcastic in the slightest.

"You could end up paralyzed!" Rebecca tried to reason with him.

Jean just smiled. "Hey, if I end up dead or paralyzed, at least I did it with the best friends a guy could ever ask for." Against their better judgment, the six teens joined hands, took a breath, and jumped.


	4. Separated

Everyone got out of the water laughing, even Riza. "WE'RE ALIVE!" Maes shrieked dramatically, kissing the ground. Everyone else just rolled their eyes, the girls wringing the water out of their hair.

"We need to get back to camp." Riza reminded everyone, wrapping a towel around herself and grabbing her clothes.

"Why can't it wait until the morning when it's light out? It'll be easier to travel." Roy pointed out. The others nodded in agreement, getting dressed in dry clothes and packing up whatever junk they had brought.

"We can't." The Hawkeye girl told them. "We have a curfew, and if we break it we'll get sent home and suspended."

Rebecca groaned. "So what do we do?! Walk back in the dark with a few flashlights?! There's a serial killer and rapist on the loose, if you don't remember!" "Of course I remember, but it's the only thing we can do." Riza sighed. "Besides, we don't have any shelter or warmth for the night." She reasoned. Everyone was silent, deciding that this was a valid point.

In silence the six teens began the long trek back to their campsite. Soon the silence ended and they tried to fill the inky black of the night with jokes and extremely out of tune drinking songs. One of the flashlights lost power after fifteen minutes. All were slightly concerned, but they didn't start to worry until the second and final one burnt out another fifteen minutes later.

After five minutes of darkness filled with Jean making horror movie screams and jumping on people to scare them even further, Roy could take it no longer and knelt in the dirt, fumbling about and swearing profusely while trying to change the batteries in the dark. Riza crouched down to help him. "Don't argue. You're taking too long on your own." She grumbled, quickly finishing installing the batteries in the flashlight for him and standing up.

Roy clicked the flashlight on and quickly scanned the woods in front of them. Maes, Gracia, Jean, and Rebecca were gone. Roy tried not to worry. "Where are you guys? Wait up! I'm coming!" No response. Roy grasped Riza's arm and chuckled nervously. "C'mon guys! Quit hiding! This isn't funny! ...Guys?" Silence.

Roy began to panic, pacing back and forth while twirling the flashlight. "Oh shit! Shit, shit, shit! What do we do, Riza?!"

Riza sighed, doing a much better job of keeping calm. "We catch up to them. They can't be too far away." She was saying this as much to soothe herself as she was reassuring her companion.

"We're gonna die! We're gonna end up as a bear's breakfast, and our skeletons will be here for the next group of campers to find!" Roy whimpered.

Riza was starting to get frustrated. "Why didn't you tell them we were stopping to change batteries?!" She snapped, glaring at the older teen.

Roy flinched, as if he was being stared down by an army drill sergeant as opposed to his rather petite blonde best friend. "I-it slipped my mind!" He squeaked, but knew it was useless to try and explain himself. "I was focused on Havoc acting like the Grim Reaper!"

Riza groaned. "Well thanks to your mind slipping, we're stuck in the dark, cold wilderness with," She paused and looked into their backpack. "The one flashlight in your hand, two cans of beer, a radio that might work only for music, a towel, my sun hat, someone's sunglasses, and my book. Add to that the fact that there's a serial rapist and killer on the loose, and I'd say we're screwed."

"I'M TOO YOUNG TO BE BEAR CHOW!" Roy wailed.

Riza smacked him over the head with her book that she had pulled out, stuffing the other items quickly into the backpack again. "Forget bear chow, Mustang! I'd rather not be raped and murdered!" Upon hearing that, Roy sobered up a bit. He grabbed Riza's hand and the backpack, running into a cave he had seen half a mile or so back, keeping the flashlight on both so they wouldn't be in complete darkness and on the off chance that someone might see it and come rescue them.

"Hopefully our group will notice that we're missing and come look for us." Roy remarked. "They're the ones with the other flashlight and the map."

Riza nodded, sighing. She stood up. "The most important thing for us to do right now is keep warm." The alchemist's daughter pulled out one of the beer cans, popped it open, and took a swig.

The alchemist's apprentice followed suit, managing a slight smile. "Y'know, this is sort of like back home, in a way. I bet if we were home right now we'd be drinking stolen coffee in a pillow fort in the attic." Riza nodded, snorting.

After those cans of beer were finished and the weak flashlight battery was starting to wear down again, Roy started a small fire in the center of the cave. Riza sighed. "A fire isn't going to keep us warm for very long, besides, you'll have to keep it up." Roy noticed that she had a point. He grabbed the radio and turned it on. Static filled, but still listenable music came on.

Riza raised an eyebrow, slightly confused. "Why did you turn on the radio?"

Roy just smiled, standing up. "Exercise will keep us warm, so dance with me!"

Riza shook her head, scowling. "Roy, I don't d-AH!"

Before she could finish her retort, Roy had dragged her to her feet and was holding her against his chest, swaying to the music and humming incredibly off key. Forgetting that she wasn't alone, even though she was in someone's arms, Riza began to sing.

"_Funny how it turns out that everything can change What I feel right now is not the same as yesterday_"

It took Roy a moment to realize that his normally silent best friend was singing, another to realize that she was singing the song that was playing on their radio, and yet another to realize he also knew the song. "**There's more than I imagined deep inside my heart Emotions that I never knew and this is just the start**"

In another moment, both realized the song was a duet. "So many things I've been missin' not watchin' but, that was all in the past Now I realize There's so much more to learn, I'm ready for the world Not scared of letting go Now I realize There's so much more to feel And my heart knows it's real The part of me, so long forgotten, Is calling, and this feels like home Home, home, feels just like home"

"_Learning how to smile again Free to show my heart Knowing I can face the things That used to seem too hard_" Riza thought for a moment, and realized how much those words actually fit her.

"**I look inside your eyes and see A different part of me What I didn't know I want in life You're everything I need**" The look on Roy's face was showing that he was slowly coming to realize the very same thing.

"So many things I've been missin' not watchin' but, that was all in the past Now I realize There's so much more to learn, I'm ready for the world Not scared of letting go Now I realize There's so much more to feel And my heart knows it's real The part of me, so long forgotten, Is calling, and this feels like home Home, home, it feels just like home"

Riza rolled her eyes at the cheesiness of the moment, but smiled and laughed. "_Right from the start, been friends forever_"

Roy grinned, twirling Riza around clumsily. "**But somehow we're meant to be together**"

"I feel like you show me how to find my way home"

"_Now I realize, feels just like home_

**Feels just like home**

_Feels like home_

Now I realize There's so much more to learn, I'm ready for the world Not scared of letting go Now I realize There's so much more to feel And my heart knows it's real The part of me, so long forgotten, Is calling, and this feels like home

_This feels like home, home, home_

** Feels just like home**

_Feels just like home_"

As they stopped dancing and the song faded, their lips were mere millimeters from touching. The static of the radio startled the pair about a foot away from each other, making them realize what they were doing and under what circumstances. This spiraled into an awkward chorus of chuckling and halfhearted, mumbled, 'ums, ahs, oops', and 'sorry' from both parties. Riza turned off the radio. Silence. Awkward, pin dropping silence.

Roy was the one to break that silence. "We better get to bed, well, you. I'll keep watch." For once, Riza decided not to argue and snuggled up under the towel. She was almost asleep as she mumbled, "Roy Christopher Mustang, if you ever dare tell anyone what happened, I'll personally kill you."

Hours later, the others in their group finally realized they were missing and went looking for them. "Hey! I found them!" Rebecca called, pointing to the backpack at the mouth of the cave. The others followed her inside, about to call out to their friends when they saw something. Roy and Riza, snuggled up to each other under a towel, fast asleep. Maes snapped a picture, and Jean just smiled. "We can stay here for the rest of the night I guess. As they say, let sleeping lovebirds lie."


End file.
